Tough life.
Posted November 7, 2009 at 9:23pm
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas Is You
*Christmas Day is exactly seven weeks away so I’m just putting you in the spirit… seven weeks away.
A new peanut butter wreath bone = a happy night of being left alone.
THE TEN BRIDESMAID COMMANDMENTS FOR THE NEWLY ENGAGED
Thou shalt not tell your Maid of Honor that she must not get pregnant during your engagement period. You do not own her uterus.
Thou shalt not adorn your bridesmaids in dresses that purposely make them look fatter than you. Go to the gym.
Thou shalt not expect your out-of-state bridesmaids to attend more than one pre-wedding event. And share your frequent flier miles while you’re at it, you stingy beast.
Thou shalt not give all but one bridesmaid a special title, ie: “This is my Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor, and my Bridesmaid.” Cue the pigeons in Cinderella.
Thou shalt not expect reciprocity when your bridesmaids get married. Not everyone wants twenty-five BFFs standing next to them at their wedding.
Thou shalt not require honesty from your bridesmaids on the day of your wedding. The answer to “do I look fat and ugly in this dress” will always be “no” from your bridesmaids, even if you look like the Exxon Valdez, pre-oil spill.
Thou shalt remember to thank your bridesmaids during your wedding toast. Even if you hate them at this point, it will save you hours of arguments in the future.
Thou shalt not tell your bridesmaids how to “act” at your reception. If you’re worried that your Maid of Honor will disgrace herself in the bushes behind the church bingo hall, you probably should have left that friendship back in high school.
Thou shalt not favor one bridesmaid over another. Saying the phrase, “I had to add an extra bridesmaid because I needed both sides to be even,” may cause your friends to wonder who was the (unlucky) fifth.
Thou shalt not ask male bridesmaids to attend the bachelorette party. You’re emasculating them enough as is, trust me.
[via Wedding Road Trip]
Since I am on a "spending only for the wedding freeze",
I went to Three Dog Bakery over lunch to buy Stanley a peanut butter wreath bone and ruffles.
That dog is a spoiled brat.
Posted November 5, 2009 at 12:34pm
As he looks in my closet...
- The man: Wow. You have lots of clothes. I have never seen so many hangers.
- Me: Are you wanting to have the second closet in the bedroom?
- The man: Where are your pants? There aren't even pants in this closet.
- Me: The pants are in the second closet.
- The man: [imagine a look of horror].
I promise that this is the last picture of Stanley as a pumpkin.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
